Written by Connie | Posted on 4 June 2010| 0

I was there with the on-location drug dealer AND I’m a myopic, drunken Mongoloid.

It’s throw everything against the wall time for the Brooklyn car mechanic accused of swiping Kirsten Dunst‘s $2,000 Balenciaga purse after sneaking into a 2007 movie shoot at the SoHo Grand hotel.

In summations today, the defense lawyer for convicted shop lifter, gun toter and car thief James Jimenez argued his client had permission to be at the shoot because his friend was an invited guest — the guy who “delivered” drugs to the penthouse greenroom used by Dunst and Brit actor Simon Pegg.

That, plus the fact that his client is “a little Mongoloid.”

Jimenez was “intoxicated” that night, has terrible, “myopic” vision and “you may even say [he’s] a little Mongoloid,” defense lawyer Robert Parker announced before jurors began their deliberations.

“But being dumb is not a crime,” he said of Jimenez, who testified he didn’t know he was at a hotel — “I thought it was just a building, I don’t know,” — and didn’t know there was a shoot going on despite the paparazzi and giant lights outside.

“I thought it was construction, or something, I don’t know,” he told jurors.

The actress — who starred as superhero love interest Mary Jane in all three Spider-Man movies — is the only reason everyone is in court, the lawyer claimed.

“We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the name Kirsten Dunst,” defense lawyer Robert Parker said, telling jurors the burglary charge against Jimenez would never have been pursued if it involved “you or I.”

Then there’s the “I’m here with the drug dealer” defense, in which Jimenez is claiming he had to have had someone’s permission to have been able to wander around restricted areas of the hotel so freely.

Dunst, Pegg, and two assistants who’d been on the penthouse floor had all testified that Jimenez and his former co-defendant had never been invited to the floor.

But that didn’t stop the defense lawyer from trying to surround the penthouse in a figurative haze of pot smoke — telling jurors that Jimenez’s co-defendant was a “big drug dealer” and grilling Dunst’s assistant on the small baggie of marijuana the assistant admitted having in her own purse, also stolen.

“Someone wanted them to be there,” Parker said of the two men’s ability to roam the hotel — prosecutors would say “case” the hotel — for about an hour without anyone kicking them out.

Meanwhile, prosecutor Patricia Stolfi urged jurors to ignore all the nonsense and focus on the video clearly showing Jimenez prowling the hotel for an hour before exiting with a heavy-looking white shopping bag.

“The defendant tries to blame everyone else but himself,” she said.

Deliberations began at lunch.